Thursday, January 15, 2009

Dear Infertility

I do not appreciate you trying to sneak into my heart when things are going so well for me.
I do not appreciate how every time I try to work on our online profiles, you make me feel like crying.
I do not appreciate how you make me cry for no reason when I am trying to drive home.
I do not like how when you put me in a bad mood I end up hurting the feelings of those I love.
I do not like it when you try to remind me of the only dream I used to have each time I thought about being pregnant. I will never be so heavy with child that I won't be able to help my husband with the wood pile so quit trying to remind me of how I used to daydream about that.
On the other hand,
I am grateful that because of you, my husband and I have been able to enjoy several years together being just the two of us.
I am grateful to not be alone in this struggle and for the many wonderful people you have introduced me to.
I am grateful that, because of you, we get to adopt.
I am grateful for the growing I have been able to do because of the hard time you have put me through.
Now please go away and leave me alone!
P.S. Josh says thank you for visiting while he was in class. Not only did he get to avoid the crying, but he now gets to enjoy the laboring I put into cooking while I was ignoring you.

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